Der Schwingset part, um, der Zweist?

Picking up from the last post - we're gonna go in reverse chronological order for the rest of this madness.

As soon as I complain about the sub-par performances by my two Stanley cup playoff teams. THEY BOTH LOST GAME 1 BY A 4-1 SCORE!!!!!!!

That has to count for something, right?

Here's to hoping that the Canes or Jackets can turn their series around!

On with the pix: These are pix from Saturday, 4/4:

We put the roof struts up:

A different angle:

And now we have the roof on. Needless to say, Mollie and I have busted out the pilsners at this point, so you know our work is soon to be done. But the roof is on, so there's that, right?

Mollie puts the finishing touches on the 'Lemonade Stand'. (That's what Mommy calls it. Everyone else understands it for what it is - 'several hunks of wood to be ignored by the boy for the length of their existance.') But still, BRAVO, Aunt Mollie!

The 'fort' part of this thing, a bit further along.

SSSD from a different angle:

Eventually, we ran out of daylight that Saturday. Fortunately, we were nowhere near running out of beer. That swing hanger on the left - it's held in there by a clamp at this point. The boards that make up the swing holders were as warped as a Republican 'Family Values' Senator.

So, we took it into the garage and built what we could on the inside:

Inevitably, Sunday morning arrived, and a very hungover Aunt Mollie decided that she didn't want her image recorded for posterity. So first, she ran:

Then, she slept on the couch while Daddy put the swing part of the swingset together. Once Daddy made the whole thing work on his own, there was much joy in Mudville, and Aunt Mollie . . . did whatever it is that Aunt Mollie does:

OK, actually, part of that was unfair. Aunt Mollie helped me get the whole swing part of this apparatus together through a series of ingenious dis-assemblies - to the point where we were taking beams off of the 'tower' part of the thing. She was the linchpin in the whole operation, honest. But you'll notice that our blog's namesake was tickled with the result:

And here we are with the final assembled product (that's one of our awesome neighbor kids, Abby in the swing):

Abby helped me immensely through the last furlong of this project, so thank you, Abby!

Here is the 'curvy' slide on the set:

Colin's first trip down the slide:

He's still trying to figure out the whole 'slide/ladder' thing:

Cayden tries to show everyone how the climbing wall works (even though Mollie and I put the handles in upside-down, originally):

Daddy enjoys the final product in the foreground:

Neighbor Kelson looks through one of the windows:

Colin tries the climbing wall:

Kelson on the slide:

Kelson at the end:

A gaggle of neighbor children in Der Schwingset:

The fat bastard who put this clusterf*ck together, enjoying himself for five minutes between the completion of a mediocre job done and the puck dropping on a Blue Jackets game:

In a just world, my wife would understand the importance of PLAYOFF HOCKEY!!!!!

Anyway, here's some videos of the remainder to complete the circle:

This is Colin's first time on Der Schwingset:

And here he is the first time down the slide:



And here are Colin and Kelson enjoying the swingset:

Lastly, here is the boy explainin' how amazing the whole thing is:

Swingsetpalooza - der First

The first installment of the construction of der Schwingset - in chronilogical order, sadly.

The reason I say sadly is because the payoff is on a post that has yet to be posted. First up - the boy doubts Daddy's ability to make it all happen, all the while sportin' his Blue Jackets jersey:
This is what Der Schwingset looks like, originally purchased:

The best part about having an "instructional design" major in the family: someone can break this madness down into small, digestible pieces.

Do y'all understand how convoluted this whole project was?

Seriously - it all came in 4 boxes, unmarked.

Eventually, a day after purchase, we got a good start:

And then we had to stand the whole mess up:

Further down the line:

This thing has floors:

Floors from another angle:

This is the second day of construction - I mentioned that, right?

And at this point, the sun went down, and the pilsner quotient went way up:

Clearly, there's a mic that should be catching Zzzzzzzs

I don't even know what THIS: is:
OK, I lied - that is a fire - consuming stuff from the windstorm of '08.

Above - that stuff burning. Below -a proper grillset - if you live in the greatest state in the union:

Der Schwingset

K - mentioned in the previous post about the swingset. This is what it's supposed to look like:

Here's what it's most likely to look like after I've failed at some point during the 487-step process that's supposed to end up in the image above:

No matter how hard I try, I end up being Bull Meechum for a parent.

Dammit.

So this Mc / Hunkie goes to watch fishes . . .

Well, it's been two weeks, time for a post. Sorry, fans - we've all been sick. Like, BAD sick, lately. I went up to the Blue Jackets / Red Wings tilt on the 15th of March and caught something awful (Jackets lost 4-0, which sucked major sack). We've all been down for the count ever since.

The other thing we've been doing is putting the finishing touches on our Hurricanes-themed bathroom. YES, the one that Mary managed to catch on fire. The paint is done, all the fixtures and doors are in place. The last remaining piece is the Hurricanes border that needs to go up, as well as a few autographed pictures of Cam Ward and Rod Brind'Amour. Pix forthcoming. ('cuz let's face it, what's more exciting than a NHL-themed bathroom?)

We did go out and buy a swingset for Jr. last Saturday (3/21), but pix for that are not going up 'til the whole pile of tinder is completed, which won't happen 'til I'm done assembling the clusterf*ck, which won't be 'til this weekend, weather permitting. Alls I can say is we put away more than a case of beer during the first half - and it's still standing so far. Cheers.

The only other thing worth mentioning is that they took 'old timey' pictures of Jr at school, in part of a money making scheme for the school, and those pix won't be ready 'til the weekend. The kid looks like the perfect little cossack. Or potato farmer. Either way - he looks like a good little peasant. We'll all be incredibly proud. Especially when he breaks out of his socio-economic strata to become the first ever Mc/Hunkie president.

SO, alls we got is pix of Jr's first trip to the aquarium, which took place on 3/14. The story behid these pix is really simple. Considering nearly all regular visitors here are familiar with Ohio winters, I don't have to explain trying to find a bit of color in the midst of all the fu*kin' grey that makes up our winters, amiright? We needed something to do for the boy that would be entertaining and might ultimately lead to a powernap. So, Mary and I looked at one another and said, "Newport Aquarium!!" at the same time. The pix below are the result of this brainstorm.

Here's the boy on the way to the Aquarium. He's holding a "Thomas the Tank Engine" figure there - his new favorite toy.
Above, the first shot - watching a couple of human divers in the 'shark' tank. They don't have any man-eating sharks in the tank, so it's not like it's that life threatening. Below, a picture Daddy did not want taken.

Mommy and Jr on the way into the fun. That'd be Eurasia behind them:

One of the sharks in the tank. The two plumes of bubbles on the right are from the divers in the tank. They were speaking to us live, through microphones in their helmets, which was kinda cool. Sorry for not removing the red eye from the shark:

Below, one of the rare Shark Rays, one of the highlights of Newport Aquarium. Can't tell if this is Sweet Pea or Scooter. Either way, they're quite proud of their Shark Rays in No. KY.

I know this is a Nurse Shark, below. It was in the tank as well. Apparently, one of their Nurse Sharks had given birth, but the spawn wasn't long lived. Again, sorry for not removing the red eye.

Me and Jr looking at some of the wildlife:

Jr, showing his level of interest in the whole endeavor:

"No, wait, look at that goofy-arsed fish-like-thingy!":

Ain't the sharks in Kentucky incredibly scary?

Just as the infamous "Kentucky-soon-to-be-calamari-fish" is:

Yes, that's a Maiden hockey jersey. It's stylish.

This snapping turtle, pictured below, is larger than a manhole cover, and has to be over 100 years old. One of the biggest attractions at the entire aquarium. To add to the mystique, he's underwater in this picture, honest:

Below, Jr watches the Otter display. The otters were sleeping, sadly. Otherwise, he would have been terifficly entertained. What's more entertaining than otters?

Me and Jr in front of the "does Daddy weigh more than a hammerhead shark?" display. The answer was, "YES!", if you're interested.
But, honestly, do you think a hammerhead could squat 575? I didn't think so.

I don't even know what animal he's watching in this next picture. There was a point where the divers who clean the inside of the tanks came up and waved to him. That might have been cooler than the "who wants to touch a live flounder" display to him.

Below, Jr takes in the albino cage at the aquarium. Seriously -they had an albino python in this Ankor Wat lookin' cage, surrounded by albino turtles. What are the odds of that? Needless to say, the boy didn't appreciate the novelty of THAT situation.

Here's the boy and Mommy watchin' the waving divers who clean the inner windows on the aquarium. That blew his mind.
So I have pictures of Jr looking like a good little cossack, along with the pictures of his big-arsed swingset that I've been taking. So - more to come, shortly.

I do hope that socialism is treating everyone ok. This free healthcare and retirement has been awesome for us.

Aside from the crippling healthcare costs and increasingly reduced prospects of ever retiring, that is. Other than that, being a 'socialist' is awesome. Uhmerika Uber Alles! You stay classy, people.

Where does the time go?

Seriously. I woke up early today and said to myself, "Self, time for a blog post. It's been entirely too long." Let's face it, if this was one of those Twitter thingies, it would have withered on the vine long ago. And no, that won't be the next step in the ever-expanding colinferriganpalooza empire. Twitter, that is. Honestly - who would find pithy little entries like this interesting:

3/5/2009, 2:58:04 PM EST - Colin just had some apple juice.

3/5/2009, 4:35:09 PM EST - Colin just had a few crackers. Isn't it funny the messes kids make?

Yeah, count us out on that one. I already have a hard enough time keeping this blog the vibrant community it is. 'course, being the Luddite that I am, I'm sure that there's some hot new technology that's made Twitter passe already.

At the rate we're going, I doubt we could get one of those "Year in Review Christmas Cards" together. And you just KNOW how much everyone LOVES to receive those . . .
Enough of my yammering - on with the cuteness.
Believe it or not, our local NHL franchise stands a good chance of making the playoffs for the first time in their history this year. Good news. I'm heading up with the boys for the game on Sunday - vs. Detroit. Go Jackets.

These two are the boy from his morning perch. He's been going through a cantankerous bastar . . . er, grumpy phase lately.

Finally, Mommy does a lot of hair sculpting every morning so that he looks impeccable. Or like one of those kids that models clothes for the Sunday Target insert in the paper. If it were up to me, he'd have a ballcap planted on that melon every morning. Alas, he won't have any of that.

On to the videotape. I think I've mentioned that he is a regular Chatty Cathy. If not - he is. All the time. I managed to catch him reading - two different angles. The second one is not all that more riveting than the first - but I just love the way he scratches his head while he gathers it all in.

Part dos:

Finally, a video I call "Banana Tiger". Kind of explains itself. Just watch the video:

Not quite "Salsa Shark", but close. It's the ONLY way I can get him to eat an entire banana. If I just say, "here, eat a banana." He reneges every time. However, if I make a fool of myself, growling like a tiger - well, naturally, he's all over that. These are the small joys of parenting though, aren't they?

Thanks for stopping by. Stay classy.