Swingsetpalooza - der First

The first installment of the construction of der Schwingset - in chronilogical order, sadly.

The reason I say sadly is because the payoff is on a post that has yet to be posted. First up - the boy doubts Daddy's ability to make it all happen, all the while sportin' his Blue Jackets jersey:
This is what Der Schwingset looks like, originally purchased:

The best part about having an "instructional design" major in the family: someone can break this madness down into small, digestible pieces.

Do y'all understand how convoluted this whole project was?

Seriously - it all came in 4 boxes, unmarked.

Eventually, a day after purchase, we got a good start:

And then we had to stand the whole mess up:

Further down the line:

This thing has floors:

Floors from another angle:

This is the second day of construction - I mentioned that, right?

And at this point, the sun went down, and the pilsner quotient went way up:

Clearly, there's a mic that should be catching Zzzzzzzs

I don't even know what THIS: is:
OK, I lied - that is a fire - consuming stuff from the windstorm of '08.

Above - that stuff burning. Below -a proper grillset - if you live in the greatest state in the union:

Der Schwingset

K - mentioned in the previous post about the swingset. This is what it's supposed to look like:

Here's what it's most likely to look like after I've failed at some point during the 487-step process that's supposed to end up in the image above:

No matter how hard I try, I end up being Bull Meechum for a parent.

Dammit.

So this Mc / Hunkie goes to watch fishes . . .

Well, it's been two weeks, time for a post. Sorry, fans - we've all been sick. Like, BAD sick, lately. I went up to the Blue Jackets / Red Wings tilt on the 15th of March and caught something awful (Jackets lost 4-0, which sucked major sack). We've all been down for the count ever since.

The other thing we've been doing is putting the finishing touches on our Hurricanes-themed bathroom. YES, the one that Mary managed to catch on fire. The paint is done, all the fixtures and doors are in place. The last remaining piece is the Hurricanes border that needs to go up, as well as a few autographed pictures of Cam Ward and Rod Brind'Amour. Pix forthcoming. ('cuz let's face it, what's more exciting than a NHL-themed bathroom?)

We did go out and buy a swingset for Jr. last Saturday (3/21), but pix for that are not going up 'til the whole pile of tinder is completed, which won't happen 'til I'm done assembling the clusterf*ck, which won't be 'til this weekend, weather permitting. Alls I can say is we put away more than a case of beer during the first half - and it's still standing so far. Cheers.

The only other thing worth mentioning is that they took 'old timey' pictures of Jr at school, in part of a money making scheme for the school, and those pix won't be ready 'til the weekend. The kid looks like the perfect little cossack. Or potato farmer. Either way - he looks like a good little peasant. We'll all be incredibly proud. Especially when he breaks out of his socio-economic strata to become the first ever Mc/Hunkie president.

SO, alls we got is pix of Jr's first trip to the aquarium, which took place on 3/14. The story behid these pix is really simple. Considering nearly all regular visitors here are familiar with Ohio winters, I don't have to explain trying to find a bit of color in the midst of all the fu*kin' grey that makes up our winters, amiright? We needed something to do for the boy that would be entertaining and might ultimately lead to a powernap. So, Mary and I looked at one another and said, "Newport Aquarium!!" at the same time. The pix below are the result of this brainstorm.

Here's the boy on the way to the Aquarium. He's holding a "Thomas the Tank Engine" figure there - his new favorite toy.
Above, the first shot - watching a couple of human divers in the 'shark' tank. They don't have any man-eating sharks in the tank, so it's not like it's that life threatening. Below, a picture Daddy did not want taken.

Mommy and Jr on the way into the fun. That'd be Eurasia behind them:

One of the sharks in the tank. The two plumes of bubbles on the right are from the divers in the tank. They were speaking to us live, through microphones in their helmets, which was kinda cool. Sorry for not removing the red eye from the shark:

Below, one of the rare Shark Rays, one of the highlights of Newport Aquarium. Can't tell if this is Sweet Pea or Scooter. Either way, they're quite proud of their Shark Rays in No. KY.

I know this is a Nurse Shark, below. It was in the tank as well. Apparently, one of their Nurse Sharks had given birth, but the spawn wasn't long lived. Again, sorry for not removing the red eye.

Me and Jr looking at some of the wildlife:

Jr, showing his level of interest in the whole endeavor:

"No, wait, look at that goofy-arsed fish-like-thingy!":

Ain't the sharks in Kentucky incredibly scary?

Just as the infamous "Kentucky-soon-to-be-calamari-fish" is:

Yes, that's a Maiden hockey jersey. It's stylish.

This snapping turtle, pictured below, is larger than a manhole cover, and has to be over 100 years old. One of the biggest attractions at the entire aquarium. To add to the mystique, he's underwater in this picture, honest:

Below, Jr watches the Otter display. The otters were sleeping, sadly. Otherwise, he would have been terifficly entertained. What's more entertaining than otters?

Me and Jr in front of the "does Daddy weigh more than a hammerhead shark?" display. The answer was, "YES!", if you're interested.
But, honestly, do you think a hammerhead could squat 575? I didn't think so.

I don't even know what animal he's watching in this next picture. There was a point where the divers who clean the inside of the tanks came up and waved to him. That might have been cooler than the "who wants to touch a live flounder" display to him.

Below, Jr takes in the albino cage at the aquarium. Seriously -they had an albino python in this Ankor Wat lookin' cage, surrounded by albino turtles. What are the odds of that? Needless to say, the boy didn't appreciate the novelty of THAT situation.

Here's the boy and Mommy watchin' the waving divers who clean the inner windows on the aquarium. That blew his mind.
So I have pictures of Jr looking like a good little cossack, along with the pictures of his big-arsed swingset that I've been taking. So - more to come, shortly.

I do hope that socialism is treating everyone ok. This free healthcare and retirement has been awesome for us.

Aside from the crippling healthcare costs and increasingly reduced prospects of ever retiring, that is. Other than that, being a 'socialist' is awesome. Uhmerika Uber Alles! You stay classy, people.

Where does the time go?

Seriously. I woke up early today and said to myself, "Self, time for a blog post. It's been entirely too long." Let's face it, if this was one of those Twitter thingies, it would have withered on the vine long ago. And no, that won't be the next step in the ever-expanding colinferriganpalooza empire. Twitter, that is. Honestly - who would find pithy little entries like this interesting:

3/5/2009, 2:58:04 PM EST - Colin just had some apple juice.

3/5/2009, 4:35:09 PM EST - Colin just had a few crackers. Isn't it funny the messes kids make?

Yeah, count us out on that one. I already have a hard enough time keeping this blog the vibrant community it is. 'course, being the Luddite that I am, I'm sure that there's some hot new technology that's made Twitter passe already.

At the rate we're going, I doubt we could get one of those "Year in Review Christmas Cards" together. And you just KNOW how much everyone LOVES to receive those . . .
Enough of my yammering - on with the cuteness.
Believe it or not, our local NHL franchise stands a good chance of making the playoffs for the first time in their history this year. Good news. I'm heading up with the boys for the game on Sunday - vs. Detroit. Go Jackets.

These two are the boy from his morning perch. He's been going through a cantankerous bastar . . . er, grumpy phase lately.

Finally, Mommy does a lot of hair sculpting every morning so that he looks impeccable. Or like one of those kids that models clothes for the Sunday Target insert in the paper. If it were up to me, he'd have a ballcap planted on that melon every morning. Alas, he won't have any of that.

On to the videotape. I think I've mentioned that he is a regular Chatty Cathy. If not - he is. All the time. I managed to catch him reading - two different angles. The second one is not all that more riveting than the first - but I just love the way he scratches his head while he gathers it all in.

Part dos:

Finally, a video I call "Banana Tiger". Kind of explains itself. Just watch the video:

Not quite "Salsa Shark", but close. It's the ONLY way I can get him to eat an entire banana. If I just say, "here, eat a banana." He reneges every time. However, if I make a fool of myself, growling like a tiger - well, naturally, he's all over that. These are the small joys of parenting though, aren't they?

Thanks for stopping by. Stay classy.

Christening Shots

Stole some shots from the Christening from Amy's Facebook page (sadly, I did not capture the full joy of The Erranding. Apologies.) Enjoy.
As I'd said, the boy thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

Sorry, forgot to re-orient this one:

As you can see below, he really did everything he could to avoid the whole process:

And there you have it. Thank you, Megan for the beautiful photography!

The Carew Climb

Being the good little pinko that I am, I spent this last Sunday doing volunteer work. For the American Lung Association, aka Der Leibstandarte. This particular form of "volunteerism" was the Carew Stumble Climb, named for the Carew Tower, the tallest building in Cincinnati.

The object of this death march fundraiser is to climb 45 stories of stairs or 804 steps. All at once. In the same, er, standing, or whatever. Yeah. I KNOW. Dumb, right? Exceedingly so when you consider the fact that there are like, six perfectly functioning elevators in the building that can take a person directly to the 45th floor in less than two minutes.

Well, it was really much harder than I thought. They told me we did it in approximately 12 minutes, which I figured was pretty good, considering my age, relatively poor physical condition and general sloth-like nature. Then again, there are nutters that can do this thing in four minutes, or cow suits, or full fireman's gear. I don't know what kind of shape a specimen has to be in to do that in four minutes, but I do know that I'll likely never be loony enough to find out for myself.

To double the pleasure, I roped Mollie into this little scheme of mine. Hey - it's all for a good cause, right? So, on with the pix:

Colin enjoys a cookie before Mollie and I arrive on the 45th floor.

Mollie and I, right after finishing, on the 45th floor.

Colin with the "everybody gets a medal" medal I was awarded for my yeoman's effort.
And to make my achievement seem all the more insignificant, here's the nutter who did the climb in the cow suit. So my plan for next year will be to do the climb with an anvil strapped to my neck. While wearing a cow suit, natch. Again, it's all for charity.
Bonus Olive picture, by request.

You're welcome, Alex.