Tuesday, July 24, 2007

(NOT) Father of the Year

Second day of paternity leave, and already the first major trauma. This afternoon as Colin and I were enjoying a screening of Godfather II, I noticed that his fingernails had gotten incredibly long. So far neither mom nor I have been able to muster the courage to actually clip his nails. Renee Bush was kind enough to do it for us on the 4th of July, and well, I've been quite afraid to try ever since.

Turns out, my fear was not unfounded.

As young Vito Corleone was about to put the finishing touches on Don Fanucci, I clipped Colin's left hand. Five snips - no problem. I began on his right hand, got the pinkie and ring fingers, no problem. Went for that middle finger, and OH MY GOD, I'VE CUT OFF MY SON'S FINGER.

Well, not quite that bad, but I got a bit of the tip. Jr immediately began to wail uncontrollably. I could see blood. Long story short, I went through three napkins, two cotton balls, and four band-aids. (Aside - they don't make, or rather I DON'T OWN, band-aids for infants. I got a deal at Costco - 1,000 band-aids for $3.75. You'd figure with 1,000 to choose from, ONE would be small enough for an infant's finger. Not so much.) Jr cried like I've never heard him - so bad, he broke into a sweat. With all the blood, I began to panic, "Maybe he's a hemophiliac!!!!", and "Am I going to have to take my son to the emergency room for a cut on the FINGER?!?!?!". The cut dried, and was anti-septicated and whatnot. Jr calmed down. 'course the worst part was when MOM CAME HOME, and I had to explain what I'd done. Needless to say, she was nonplussed.

Here's a shot of my handiwork below, after Jr calmed down.
Father of the year, I am not. Anyway, here are a few shots of Jr showing off his incredibly strong neck, obviously before I TRIED TO CUT OFF HIS FINGER.

More rawk t-shirts. Misfits.
And, The Specials.
Incidentially, I have no idea what this move below is. It's not quite Elvis, not quite Bruce Dickenson of Iron Maiden. Colin clearly thinks it's kewl, whatever it is.
Perhaps Bowser, from Sha-Na-Na?

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